Fat Acceptance
I mentioned that I’m not 100% on board with the fat acceptance movement. (Maybe like 95%).
If you’re a healthy fat person, fine. I completely recognize that people can genuinely be big-boned, and many fat women lead remarkably healthy lifestyles or are genetically predisposed to fatness and so are just naturally meant to be bigger.
But I feel as if way too many people use the previous points as excuses and ignore the fact that there is a definite correlation between the rise of obesity and the prevalence of fast food and a sedentary lifestyle in the past thirty or so years. Now that computers and video games and the trend of staying indoors have risen, along with more processed, unhealthy food and fast food. Yes, fat can be gorgeous: fat chicks have lovely curves that skinny chicks don’t. But unhealthy is not good for you.
I’m also disappointed in the anti-skinny girl sentiment I have seen in many fat acceptance blogs. People write things like “real women have curves,” “skinny women are all anorexic,” etc. This is completely detrimental to the goal of body acceptance for all and I find it almost hypocritical. Fat acceptance bloggers also call themselves feminists, but how is putting down other women feminist?
I avoid putting down fat women because I realize that they have enough to deal with from society as a whole and I would like to help all women, regardless of size, feel better about themselves. I generally avoid saying anything about fat women in general because that is not the focus of the blog. However, I felt this page was necessary as this is a body acceptance blog.
Please do not play the “you have thin privilege” card on me. I know what thin privilege is and I am cognizant of it. I know I’m lucky to be closer to the ideal held by society (though please note that small-boobed, bony models are really not close to society’s ideal of large-breasted, skinny-but-curvy blonde porn stars). However, while fat women have far more pervasive and plentiful problems to deal with, skinny women have their own. They’re smaller, but they exist, and they sting. I seek to deal with those problems. Being aware of thin privilege does not mean ignoring these problems and pretending skinny women don’t have them. I needed a blog like this when I was a teenager.
This phenomenon is called Oppression Olympics: “People who participate in Oppression Olympics tend to ignore the fact that it’s possible for multiple groups to be oppressed, and necessary to address all those problems, without choosing a single group to get all the anti-oppression activism.” The fat acceptance bloggers in question ignore the fact that skinny women also have shit to deal with and pretend that fat women are the only ones with self esteem issues.
The truly feminist ideal would be to accept all body types, and get anorexic or unhealthily obese women the help they need in a kind way. I have subscribed to several fat acceptance blogs, thinking that because we share a similar goal we can learn from each other and be friends. While I am off to a rocky start with this, having encountered straight up rudeness and condescension, I am hoping that some of the fat acceptance bloggers will accept my invitation of friendship.
Finally, if you choose to live an unhealthy lifestyle and have a “fuck yeah” attitude about it, don’t be surprised if people judge you.
Disclaimer: I do not speak for all skinny people. This is my personal opinion.
Hi. I’m a blogger who writes about Fat Acceptance a fair bit. (I came here via Feministe). I came here, because I do think size acceptance is important and I think it’s feminist – and that includes skinny sizes. I completely get where you are coming from with talking about how thin privilege is not a magic protective pill that stops people from hating on your body. It clearly does not. I haven’t always been fat but I’ve never been ‘skinny’ – though I can certainly appreciate how skinny women do face judgement and body-shaming just like the rest of us. So… basically, I’m on board with what I think you’re trying to do here. I am not a ‘real women have curves’ type of advocate and I have to say that the fat accepting people I choose to interact with are not either (though I’m sure skinny bashing does go on in some FA circles, unfortunately, I think it is far more prevalent in mainstream spaces where body-shaming of all kinds is accepted than on FA blogs.)
To tell you the truth, I had a look around here because I was thinking I might like to add this site to my blogroll. But after reading the first few paragraphs of this entry, I find that I can’t do that right now. Is this a body accepting space? Does that mean you accept bodies that do not meet an abitrary standard of healthy, or that you do not? Does this mean that you are only okay with fat acceptance insofar as it relates to Health At Every Size but not the parts of it that are all for celebrating bodily autonomy and body diversity? How do you feel about people who are thin and lead sedentary lives and are ‘unhealthy’? Does that mean they can’t be beautiful? How do you feel about people who are ill or disabled and therefore not ‘healthy’ or beautiful, by your definition? How do you feel about people who are ‘big boned’ naturally but diet (using unhealthy methods) to be thin? Can any of those people be beautiful? Are any of those people accepted here?
I could care less what people do with their own lives and bodies as that is their prerogative, but I encourage everyone to be healthy. People who leave sedentary lives, whether fat or thin, should exercise and eat right. Healthy lifestyles are often considered sexier than unhealthy lifestyles and the message I meant to convey with that statement is that if you are concerned about your appearance, then take comfort in the fact that eating right and exercising will make you feel more beautiful and better about yourself and is just plain good for you. You interpreted it the other way around, which is not how I meant it. People who are ill or disabled are outliers, IMO. If you had an accident and are now confined to a wheelchair or had to have chemo and lost your hair, I wouldn’t really consider you “unhealthy.” Like I said, that statement was more to promote healthy lifestyles rather than put down people who can’t help their condition. As for people who diet: I believe that trying to lose or gain weight to reach a weight you are not meant to be does not contribute to a healthy lifestyle, so dieting, along with other unhealthy behaviors, should be discouraged.
No one is unwelcome from this blog. My bottom line is that healthy lifestyles will help you feel more beautiful if you are already self conscious about your appearance. Hope that clears things up.
I appreciate you taking the time to address this. I see you’ve now changed the wording of your post to remove the statement that unhealthy is ‘not beautiful’. That was certainly the most judgemental line. I have a massive problem, however, with calling PWD or illnesses ‘outliers’. People with disabilities are not ‘rare’, as the term implies. The equation of mainstream notions of good health (the salad-eating gym visiting visibly glowing kind) with beauty includes a huge whack of ableism. Your admission that those who don’t meet *someone’s* standards of a healthy lifestyle ‘will be judged’ may well be true in this culture. But it’s offensive to read on a body acceptance blog. What is to be gained from such judgement? Why are you asking that only certain bodies or lifestyles are freed from judgement? These are real questions – I’m not merely being argumentative.
I think it’s also pertinent to mention that the modern lifestyle to which you attribute both fatness and ill-health is also lived by thin people. You haven’t acknowledged that – I’d argue you’ve implied the opposite. I’m not sure if that’s a misunderstanding or a rejection of some core fat accepting ideas but in any case, I hope you keep reading beyond the mainstream media messages about the ‘obesity crisis’.
I think you’re interpreting my words in a way I did not mean them to interpreted; maybe my wording is just bad. I don’t count disabilities as “unhealthy” in the same way that someone who broke their leg isn’t considered “unhealthy.”
And I do get irritated when I see both fat and skinny chicks saying things like “haha, I’m fat and I eat a lot and don’t exercise and I don’t give a damn” or “I’m skinny and I can eat whatever I want and not exercise lolz.” I feel that they make it harder for everyone else to embrace body acceptance by perpetuating stereotypes.
Finally yes, skinny people can be unhealthy too, if they think they can subsist off of junk food and a fast metabolism.
I’m a fat acceptance blogger too. Mine’s called Corpulent and I also have a tumblr called Hey Fat Chick. (I’ve seen you around tumblr! Welcome to WordPress.)
First of all, I completely reject anti-skinny sentiments as, like you, I think they go against body acceptance. Most fat bloggers I know also have this viewpoint.
Secondly, I agree that thinness does not exclude a person from negative body image. I get emails everyday from girls on the smaller end of fat (or the larger end of thin) telling me how much they have hated themselves and how fat/body acceptance has helped them.
So we’re off to a good start. BUT I have massive problems with these statements:
The truly feminist ideal would be to accept all body types, and get anorexic or unhealthily obese women the help they need in a kind way.
Anorexia and the loosely termed ‘bad fatty’ (that is, the fat person that doesn’t eat healthily or exercise) are not comparable. Eating unhealthily and not exercising is not a mental illness. It’s a choice that we’re all afforded. It’s body autonomy.
Finally, if you choose to live an unhealthy lifestyle and have a “fuck yeah” attitude about it, don’t be surprised if people judge you.
I feel that they make it harder for everyone else to embrace body acceptance by perpetuating stereotypes.
We – fat or skinny – do not owe anyone else our health. Respect and acceptance from others should be given without a thought to our cholesterol levels or our lung capacity. Unhealthy people are still people.
PS. This is less eloquent than I’d like. Forgive me, I’m half asleep.
Hey Frances,
Hello from WordPress! I’m glad you’re against anti-skinny sentiments. Most FA bloggers I’ve seen are, but some people don’t believe that skinnies need a blog like this in the first place. *shrugs*
I agree that some of these things are awkwardly worded and I’m trying to fix them so your feedback is good. I think the first sentence you pulled out is a bit redundant in comparison to the second; I should replace it with a sentence on not making fun of anorexic women. I tried to come up with a fat equivalent of anorexic skinny and I came up with that not so great parallel. If people want to get help, great for them. If they choose to live their lives unhealthily, then I couldn’t care less. I’m not going to call out a heavy smoker or drinker who is aware of the risks of living unhealthily unless they endanger others by drunk driving or something.
Everyone deserves respect, definitely, and not to be called names, but I have seen articles in which people (of different shapes and sizes, no joke) gloat about not eating healthy and exercising, and then write about it, and then complain when people criticize their lifestyle. I’m just saying if you put yourself out there, you’ll have to defend yourself. Like I said, whatever people want to do with their health in their private life is not my problem.
Anyhow, I’d be surprised if we ended up agreeing 100% on everything and I do like your blog. I’m into street fashion myself and I love your style. I’ll be adding you to my Google Reader and I hope we see each other around the blogosphere!
Luxe
That’s cool, Luxe. And I expect you to jump down my throat if you ever seen anything vaguely anti-skinny on my blog! We have the same goal, we’re just coming at it from a different perspective, which is awesome. We need all the body acceptance advocates we can get and the more varied we are the better.
Hey, I am glad I found your blog, and I think you are off to a great start. There are a few blogs out there supporting women of smaller size, but this one seems to be the most body positive, concerning thinness. I like that you take hints from the fat acceptance ladies- you won’t find any tips or tricks on how to ‘lose weight’ or ‘make your butt look smaller’ on their sites. I found helpful advice from these women- eat what’s right for you, exercise when it feels good, get away from the scale, and love yourself. Stop fighting with your body. It’s a good sentiment to have at any weight. I was getting tired of coming across articles and blogs that supposedly support the slender body type, but then continue to perpetuate the idea that something is wrong with our bodies that we need to change- it’s nice not to find anything like that on your blog.
A few things though- some of your readers have pointed them out, and you have graciously listened. I’m still learning a lot about both ends of the spectrum, and everything in between, and I think you are doing the same. One of the common tropes that larger people face is that they are solely the product of a culture that is sedentary and consumes too much. I believed this too, at one point, but then I asked myself: if the fact is that I remain slightly underweight weight no matter what my lifestyle, why wouldn’t I say the same of a fat person? Why wouldn’t I say the same of anyone? (yes, I am guilty of occasionally judging women smaller than myself.) Then again, perhaps a large person is living a sedentary lifestyle. It still shouldn’t incur shame or judgement. I’ve gone through many sedentary periods in my life, but would I be judged for it? No, I wouldn’t, because I’m thin. No one would attribute any of my ‘problems’ to lack of exercise, but they would do it to a fat person, and that’s just not right.
In short, I don’t think it’s necessary to point out the typical American diet and activity level as it relates to the weight of the people. It’s not helping anything. I do think you are off to a good start though, and it’s good that you are willing to listen to the people who are coming here and taking time to share their thoughts. We have a lot to learn.
Thanks, Terria. I’m definitely still learning and this page is definitely awkwardly worded in places. I don’t want to outright offend anyone, but I don’t want to compromise my opinion in order to avoid that either.
I think the phenomenon that the media calls “the obesity epidemic” is a symptom of everyone having a more sedentary lifestyle. You just don’t notice it on skinny people because well, it doesn’t show, or they gain weight and become medium sized. But for people predisposed to gaining and keeping weight more easily, the sedentary lifestyle just doesn’t help and they find they need to exercise or eat better if they don’t want to become oh noes obese.
“Then again, perhaps a large person is living a sedentary lifestyle. It still shouldn’t incur shame or judgement.”
In my response to Frances, I addressed this. If people are living unhealthily, then that’s their prerogative, and yes everyone deserves to be treated with respect.
You’re right about the “step off the scale” business. I debated discussing how to gain weight but decided against it. Just like a fat chick who’s meant to be fat shouldn’t feel obligated to lose weight, a skinny chick who’s meant to be skinny should struggle to gain it, because you shouldn’t fight nature!
Thanks for your response. I think I can construct a better Fat Acceptance page out of all the feedback I’ve received.
PS: ALSO I constructed this page in response to what I’ve seen in blogs like Jezebel. The majority of FA bloggers I’ve gotten to know are far more sensible.
Sorry, didn’t mean to make you repeat yourself. I didn’t have time to read the whole thread. Again, high fives for refraining from giving the usual ‘oh, poor skinny chick, here’s how to gain weight and make your inadequate breasts appear adequate’ spiel.